Arsenal will have the last laugh... eventually

Published: October 6, 2011

TRUST me, in years to come we’ll laugh about all of this.

Years from now they will make nostalgic documentaries with celebrity talking heads perfectly recalling the events of 2011, speaking with reassuring authority as if they hadn’t just been shown the archive footage to remind them. Mark my words and remember me in 2041 when you are sitting back watching ‘2011: YEAR OF NEWS’ or ‘I LOVE 2011’ or whatever they decide to call it, narrated by Romeo Beckham or the girl from Outnumbered.

They’ll cover the Arab Spring, Bin Laden, the riots, Amy Winehouse, and have a wrinkly Fearne Cotton, with her tattoos beginning to melt into green smudges with age, recalling the hats worn at the Royal Wedding. A singer who hasn’t been born yet will talk about how they were allowed to stay up by their parents to watch the Amanda Knox verdict.

And then they will come to north London football and the scarcely believable sports story of 2011: Spurs overtaking Arsenal as the main team in the neighbourhood. An aged Shovel from M People will appear saying: “I was like Awww no. It was Walker wasn’t it? Just hit it, didn’t he. That was the only thing he ever did but awww it hurt that day.” And then they’ll have Jonathan Creek from QI on – his curls long since greyed, maybe he‘s bald – “It was 2-1 and I said to my mate that day: Tottenham are better than us. Of course, it didn’t last. Arsenal won the Carling Cup that year.” And then we’ll laugh.

I COULD say Arsenal’s a team in decline, but you already know that. I could say their manager has lost the plot, but you already know that too. I could also say I’m not going to gloat, and if you believed me then you probably believe Louis Walsh is the best judge on X-Factor and Joey Barton was spotted auditioning for Bambi on Ice! 

Contrary to popular belief, all Arsenal fans aren’t stupid. Most knew before the game even started that they were going to lose to us, again!

They came armed with lots of lyrics, but not much belief though the malevolent chants of both sets of supporters crossed boundaries they shouldn’t have.

Rivalry is meant to bring out the best in people, Sunday’s 2-1 trouncing from the mighty Spurs brought out the worst.

Arsene Wenger in his post-match interview stood like a petulant child, arms behind his back leant on a wall.

The diatribe that came out of his mouth about Tottenham’s first goal being handball and that Rafael van der Vaart should have been sent off for a second bookable offence was just embarrassing.

No, my poor Arsenal friends, this smacks of a desperate man trying to set up smoke screens that hide the real problems plaguing his Woolwich team.

It’s back to the drawing board and with fans that believe it a divine right to be in the upper echelons of football, how much longer are you prepared to wait?